Being a Dad (Let Him Fall!)

Our family tends to not always fit into traditional roles. I blame the feminist movement for this by the way. However, this is a whole other topic (that I would love to discuss here someday). So, when we do fit into a traditional role, I get excited about it believe it or not! :)

Something I was reading a few months back was talking about the parenting and the differences between a mother and a father. It stated something to the fact that the father is more likely to let a child explore and learn things on his own, while the mother is much more protective and more concerned with not letting the little one get hurt.

This happens so very often in our lives here with Ryan. This might sound odd, but I definitely let him try stuff and get hurt. Not seriously injured, but hey, if you jump from the ottoman (that has wheels) to the floor, your going to fall and bump something. Ryan is really into jumping right now so I will let him jump just about anywhere. To me, this how you learn. This is how I learned. Take a couple knocks on the head, next time you'll be more careful. My approach, warn softly (your going to bump your head on the table if you do that), then I let him decide. This has resulted in bumps and bruises along the way, but I HOPE I am encouraging him to think out his actions at the age of 2, so that at the age of 15 he can do the same.

This example is just one of the things I love about being a dad and having teachable moments (Natalia has to love it to because I don't try to have as many teachable moments with her! ) . What an awesome and amazing responsibility, and I am so thankful for it every day (ok, well, MOST every day).

Being a Dad (Anger)

When I first became a parent, one thing I quickly realized is, every personal weakness I had was attacked. I can remember sitting with Ryan while he screamed and feeling really angry and frustrated, but thinking, if I am angry and frustrated right now, its not going to help to calm this poor little guy down. Over time my patience got much better, my tolerance for screaming much better, but I realized today that I am still quick to anger.

This has always been evident to me and it something I really try to avoid, but its sort of this thorn in my side. It is becoming more evident as I watch my 2 and a half year old son grow up. I see how quick to anger he is, and I kick myself about it.

I am not as quick to anger with him as I am with our dog Lucy. If Lucy misbehaves, I will shout at her, NO. If she continues to misbehave, I get a bit louder and try to make myself more imposing. This is effective and she is very obedient most of the time. However, the ineffectiveness of this approach is how I am teaching my son to behave in the face of anger and frustration.

Today as we washed my car there was a lot of screaming. I think both Lucy and Ryan have a similar affection for the hose. Ryan loves spraying things, and Lucy LOVES chasing after the water stream. Usually this is a trio made in heavan, but today, we were trying to wash my car. Ryan would spray the car, Lucy would jump in front of the spray, splashing everyone and just behaving like a crazy dog. Ryan would shout NO in sort of a really ear piercing way, which seems to have been audible for miles! After this pattern for an hour I finally got angry and shouted at both of them! Grr....bad daddy!

Immediately, or even as I was shouting, I though, jeez, what the heck do the neighbors think of this poor father shouting at his kid and dog.

So, if you see me quick to anger, feel free to help me with my problem!